Penelope’s Loom is primarily a place for two women to come together and discuss ideas that are important to them. And, given our age, the stage of life we are in (read: “vocations in the home”), and the experiences we share in classical, liberal education (both on the student side and teacher side) these will have a particularly feminine and classical focus. But even with our unique experiences and tastes, there is simply no denying that this website, this common space for ideas, is going to be another place among many in which the focus will largely concern the duties of wife, mother, and primary educator. So this begs two related questions: first, why do women have this repetitive need to discuss what has already been discussed, to delve afresh into what could easily be found with a few clicks, a google search, and another woman’s blog? And second, what makes this website, this common space, different from the rest? 

We can all think of discouraging cliches that run rampant within female interactions. We gossip about one another and with one another, we are passive aggressive with one another, we show off amongst one another (about the stupidest, most mundane things in the world), we internally or explicitly compare ourselves to one another. And yet we still seek out the company of other women! Why? The underlying theme of each of these social sins is the need for affirmation from our sisters. This especially becomes the case when a woman becomes a wife, and then a mother. These roles demand more of us than we ever could have imagined in our single youth, and because of this, we must take counsel with other women. We need to associate with those women whose experience we can learn from and share our challenges with those who are in the midst of those same challenges. It is not without reason that history has passed down sewing circles, church groups, midwives, and that ever-so-wise tradition of women in the kitchen and men on the porch. It used to be that we actually, unapologetically, made time for these kinds of conversations. We used to recognize the profound need each of us has to share part of our story with one another, maybe not the whole thing, but enough to know, by the affirmation of our peers, that we’re not going crazy and everything is going to be just fine. Nowadays it is easy to believe that there is still plenty of support being shared amongst women because of the various forms of social media many of us turn to in order to feel “heard”, or have a sense of belonging. But the studies are in, and the statistics don’t lie: attempting to replace serious, true dialogue with the typical social media experience of quick takes, soundbites, “liking”, “sharing”, or commenting simply doesn’t fill the real human need for community and association. This emphasis on real community is one of the key ways we see this space being different from others as well as worthy of your time and input.

There is wisdom beyond measure in a woman learning from other women what has been passed down since time immemorial. It matters a great deal that our mothers and grandmothers can pass down to us insights that have the blended wisdom of the generations that came before us. In other ways, it doesn’t matter that these conversations have taken place before, because every woman will experience the demands of womanhood uniquely. Every woman will need to process these experiences and learn from them. It doesn’t matter that generations before may have been able to come to terms with their full feminine identity- this woman, here and now, must work it out for herself.

At Penelope’s Loom, when we consider the duties of wife and mother, we will spend the majority of our time with the philosophy and theology behind the vocation. Practical matters will also be included, but never without some discussion of the ideas they put into action. We are devoted to writing about, reading about, and discussing the ideas that inform the everyday life of a woman. This is a place for those who desire to lead the well-examined life. We plan to adamantly, even passionately, take up discussion of the parts and pieces of our daily routines (baking bread, gardening, and educating children) but each of these mundane pieces of life began with a serious inquiry and have lead to the philosophy of life to which we subscribe and the theology to which we have bound ourselves. This is a space for growing in virtue; this is a space for keeping our intellects and our souls limber and agile amidst the ever-present temptation to revert to sloth, gossip, and petulance. This is a space where we wish to help each other become better, stronger women.

We live in a time when there is an evermore pressing need for this exchange of ideas and experiences between women. The very nature and definition of what it means to be a woman is under attack by our culture. We are bombarded constantly with lies that range from calling a man a woman, telling women to kill their unborn children, or that women don’t truly have worth unless they are employed outside the home. And while these lies are more prevalent now than ever before, they have been around long enough that very few Western families can say they have not in some way been affected by them. In the last seventy years, the chain that linked us to the unique wisdom of women who came before us has been cut, or, at the very least, sustained serious damage. It is no longer the case that a young woman starting a family can turn to her mother, her aunts, or other female members of her family for advice on how best to care for and nurture her household. Only the truly exceptional woman who has defied the cultural expectations of joining the workplace, and who has chosen to remain home with her children, maintain the traditional skills of the household, and has guarded her faith well is in the position to begin passing down the womanly wisdom of earlier generations. Few of us have such a woman to whom we are able to address our concerns. The generation(s) of the last seventy years have either condemned the traditional role of a woman as “old-fashioned”, “backwards”,  an act of white male suppression and happily rejected them, or in the best case scenario assumed that the advances of technology would answer all the family’s needs.

We live in a time of rediscovery. It is time to study; it’s time to challenge ourselves; it’s time to grow in virtue and help one another. This is a place to center the discussions that we hope will change us into the best women we can be, and to help each other preserve what it is that makes us uniquely, beautifully, women.